Sunday, April 5, 2009

I'm still wondering what else could S stand for?

No seriously. Just a few minutes ago on T.V I saw an ad for an upcoming show(it'll be debuting on Singapore T.V say in about 10 minutes time) called S Factor. First of all it's a Singaporean production so definitely you know it's gonna suck ass. But that isn't really the issue here.

It's like those damn creatures are seriously in great denial. Given the question, "What exactly is S factor?" This was a few of the answers(Well.. That's what it shows on the ad anyway). Sophisticated, sociable, sexy and all that bullshit. Come the fuck on.. We all know what "S" stands for. And it's slutty.. That's it. Nothing more. Something less maybe but definitely nothing more.

"Girls(And I'm using this word very loosely here)" jumping around in their bikinis and getting ratings from guys. "Girls" throwing pie at each other(this I can never get.. Why waste good pie?) and probably a game of "who can seduce the white dick in record time?!"

I'm already pissed that Singapore wants to start making English dramas on Channel 5 again. Now they have to come up with something as original as a "sexy" reality T.V show.. What's next? The Singapore version of "My dad is better than your dad"? Just give up already. You people are hopeless. I rather watch the re-runs of Friends than to allow all this local shows to rape my eyes again.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This is proof that I'm working with idiots.

First of all, let me warn you.. If bad grammar is your krytonite, stop reading here.. I'm serious.. The shit I'm about to show you is bad(bad as in like Singapore sitcom, bad).. And what's worse is that this shit was sent to me by my superiors(yes, I have Superiors too) at work..

Hey.. I'm not saying I don't make typos, but if you're gonna be sending out warnings or reminders it's best to make less mistakes so it won't end up being a fucking joke.

There's more than 6 emails altogether. But I'm only showing 2 for now(why? Cause I can). Sadly.. None of this shit is edited(except the names) since it's copied and paste..

Dear All,

This is to remind you guys of our procedure for late comers.
Follow this procedure. whoever came in late even for a few minutes. Pls email to your dept Manager( Mr. ______) to seek her approval for time off.
This is to avoid from salary deduction. Should remember that the reason given to our Manager must come together with prove.

1st step) Whoever came in late must report to your Executive, Supervisor or direct to him. But advisable come to us(Exec and Sup) first,
so that we knows whats going on with you guys and what to answer to him.

2nd step) Email to your Dept Manager(as below example) cc to Ms____( so that no salary deduction ), Mr ____ & me.

3rd) make sure your email has been approve by him with immediate.


Yeah.. I know.. On to the second email. Don't worry it's short. But equally(if not worse) as bad.

Dear All

We have not recieved and sended e-mail, we are working to resolve this issue now But I do not tell you when it will be resolved, Anyway let you know when it will be done.

Our internal mail which is Notes mail has no problem.

Sorry for any inconvenience caused!

Best Regards

_________ _______

Fuck.. This proofs that even if you do have dogshit for a brain, you could still get a degree(or Diploma) in Singapore..

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I forgot I had a blog...

Okay.. The only reason for this goddamn update is because I'm plagued with stupid questions like... "Why isn't your blog updated?" "Why isn't your webcomic site updated?" You wanna know why? BECAUSE. I. HAVE. A. JOB.

And if you jackasses had one too.. You probably wouldn't be bothered to browse through this page and God's rejected playground..

Don't get me wrong.. I don't mind people reading my shit.. But stop asking me to update when I said all that I needed to say.. If I have something else to rant bout.. You'll see a freaking update..

Anyways.. A few days ago when I was on the train, I saw three "Emo(God, I hate this word)" kids in the same cabin as me.. Don't get me wrong.. They weren't doing shit.. They were just acting "emo"(honestly.. I have no idea what do Emo brats do.... Oh wait.. I do know what they do... Not a damn thing..)

Well.. All this emo shit is fine by me(it's shit.. But I don't really give a fuck bout them) till I saw this kid(and his maid) beside them..

It was a kid in a wheelchair which looked like he suffered from that brittled bones illness(I don't know what the fuck it's called and I don't wanna know).. Then I turned back and looked at those Emo kids and realized.. What the fuck are they so Emo bout?

They had their little cellphones, Ipods and whatever accessories most of this materialistic dickheads usually carry around.. So tell me... What the fuck are they so Emo bout?

Dad said you should be home by 9pm cause the last time you came home late you got lost and nearly got raped by a Hobo? Or Mum said to wash your own bedsheets since you pissed in your bed again?

You take your parent's cash all the time.. You act like a dick towards your "normal" friends(I'm just assuming that there are normal people who actually hang with Emo losers).. You don't work.. You listen to Simple Plan(for this reason alone you should be hit in the face..... by a steel bat).. And still you think the world is against you? What the fuck? How the fuck did you conclude to that?

Mann.. I wanna kick those dumbasses in the balls but.. Yeah right... Emo losers have those...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Oh no.. I'm back..

Everyday when I switch on my TV, I see rubbish.. Calefare, Sayang Sayang and now.. Singtel Grid Girls..

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the highlights were.... Where are the girls? You couldn't possibly be talking bout those ugly creatures? In all seriousness.. I would at least give a brief description of them but all I remember was me punching myself in the face, hoping I'll blackout..

Why do you people show rubbish like this? You rather telecast a show that condescends women(don't get me wrong.. I'm no feminist.. But at least I don't pretend to be one so I get to screw some chick) than Family Guy? Jeebus.. I rather watch the reruns of Dharma and Greg than to put my eyes through a torture chamber such as Singtel Grid Girls.. And here's an advice for you too.. If you treasure your eyesight(and your braincells) please.. Avoid that piece of shit show..

And by the way.. Check out my new comic site.. It's not exactly ready yet.. But fuck it.. I need the traffic..

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Damn.. We lost....... Again!

As most you heard it.. Our swimming team didn't manage to win any medals(again) this Olympics.. In all seriousness.. I don't care.. I haven't caught any of the games, and I probably never will.. But this is what pisses me off..

They lost.. Simple as that.. Stop saying shit like... "Oh.. Even if you(one swimmer in particular, Tao Li) didn't win. We're still so proud of you.. You did us proud.."

Look.. She lost.. That's that.. Who cares she made it into the finals? Who cares she broke some Asian record? She lost.. 5th placing? Know what that means? You're incompetent(and don't give me shit like.. "If you're so good.. Why not you go?" Look dipshit.. I know I'm not Olympic material.. That's why I have a real job).. Face it..

Honestly.. If you keep treating your freaking athletics like babies.. They are gonna end up like babies.. You failed? Don't worry.. There's always the next Olympics.. And a next one.. And another and another.. You are paid to go there to win.. Not to shit, come back and get some motherfucking hero's return..

Mann.. If I was in charge.. Know what I would do? If any of you dumbasses fail to bring home a medal.. Know what is the punishment? Death penalty..

Seriously.. I honestly don't want Singapore to win a medal... Ever.. Know why? Cause I'm pretty much sure.. If they actually won something.. You'll never hear the end of it.. Just like how when Man U won the European Championship.. Oh wait.. How silly of me.. I keep forgetting.. Manchester is part of England.. Not Singapore..

Mann.. Singaporeans... It's either you hate them or you join them.. But remember.. Heaven doesn't allow stupid people through the Pearly Gates..

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Nobody wants to see Jackasses celebrating on their TV..... No seriously.. They don't...

Every time I catch the news on TV there's always a story that will leave me wondering, "why me? Why can't I be born a retard?"

Well.. As some of you might know.. Singapore is broadcasting their National Day Parade(NDP) live to all of Asia.. That's like real interesting TV.. I'm sure if countries couldn't find a reason to declare war on us.. Here it is...

Even me as a Singaporean, I rather watch Miss Universe than to caught watching the NDP...

And talking bout Ms Universe.. Miss Venezuela won.. But that's not a problem for me... It's just that.. Why is Singapore still competing?

Look.. You guys wanna win that competition so badly?
It's real simple.. Hire beauties from another country.. Malaysia, China, India or whatever.. If you idiots can do it for the Singapore Olympic team.. So why not for Beauty Pageants?

And yes.. Back to the main subject.. Who the hell wanna watch a bunch of idiots celebrating? I mean..

I can just imagine conversations around Asia..

In the Philippines,

Filipino 1: Hey.. The fuel prices are killing me.. I can't afford even to pay my electrical bills..

Filipino 2: What?! You better pay it! You don't wanna miss Singapore's NDP! It's being shown live all around Asia! It's like Live Earth! Only lamer!

Filipino 1: Holy shit! I wouldn't miss it for the world!

In China on the 8th of August 2008.

Chinese 1: Hey! Did you hear? Tomorrow Singapore is gonna show their National day Parade live around Asia!

Chinese 2: Wait you're serious? Then we should cancel the Olympics for one day! We don't wanna steal their Limelight!

Somewhere in Indonesia,

Some guy in Indonesia(I ain't saying he's Indonesian.. I'm just saying he's in the country): Hey man.. I heard a country called Singapore is celebrating their National Day or whatever.. Hey wait... Dude.. Didn't you escape from Singapore? Something like breaking outta the toilet or whatever?

Man who broke out of the toilet: Oh yeah.. I did.. Wait they're celebrating? Aren't they suppose to be looking for me?

God.. Why are you giving me more reasons to hate my country(By the way, I don't hate the land.. Just the morons)?

Disclaimer: To you goddamn "Winners"...
The last conversation in my post.. I'm not implying that "the someone" is really(as in reality) in Indonesia.. I'm just pulling shit outta the rumour mill.. And plus.. It's a fucking joke.. Lighten up..

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Hey! Add me on.......

Okay.. I know there are many times I mentioned that I hate all those goddamn social network websites.. I know I've rejected to add some of you goddamn losers on Friendster too(All of you are losers... All of you)..

And so because of you dipshits.. I got a goddamn reason to update this blog..

Now I think back bout all this shit.. Why the fuck would anyone wanna create any of this goddamn accounts(myspace, friendster, facebook etc) in the first place? During 2002 when "Friendster" was the in thing.. Every dipshit I met, ask me the same dumb question.. Got "Friendster" account or not? Well.. Now it's "Facebook".. No I don't have a Facebook account.. And I'll never create one.. Period..

Why? It's for losers.. Here are the 3 reasons I get when I ask why did they bother to create that Piece of shit in the first place..

1. Hehe! Simple la! Make new freinz!

Why? Pissed off all your old friends? Or need new dumbasses that will listen to your mindless gibberish which you idiots spew from your fucking mouth.. Please.. Do the world a favour and smash your head through a wall..

2. I lost contact with someone.. And I need to find him/her..

Sure.. But first, tell me why did you lose contact? Lost the person's number? But then again, that person didn't contact you to find out why he/she hasn't heard from you in awhile(you must be a dipshit if you don't get what I mean).. Or perhaps he/she changed numbers and forgot to update you(Now I wonder why they forgot).. Come on.. They hate you.. Simple as that.. Bet if I knew you.. I'll hate you too..

3. I'm looking for my soulmate.

Oh really.. Ever thought of searching outside the "internet realm"? I don't know.. As in the real world? Go to a Supermarket(No seriously..), bookstores, coffeehouses or wherever you idiots hang out.. And if you still can't get one.. There's always suicide..

Why bother with rubbish like Friendster, Facebook and Myspace? I don't get it..

Yes.. I have a Friendster Account.. And there's a good reason why I ain't deleting it off.. To remind myself.. I'm human.. And I make mistakes too..